Listening to Our Inner Wisdom Part I

I was recently reminded of a show that I loved to watch as a kid. Maybe you remember it. It was called Anne of Green Gables and it ran during the late 1980’s. I remember watching that series every single day during the summer I was 12. I had entire segments committed to memory and I could recite it anytime, anywhere, on the spot! I can still hear Marilla Cuthbert in her ever-practical manner saying, “twenty pounds of brown sugar!” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re missing out! What captures me is how this girl has been through so much in life and yet never loses touch with her inner core and creativity. She never loses that passion and awe of life and creation.

There was a time in my life when I was much like her, although usually in a more inner way. At that age, I remember having a wild imagination. I also remember being made fun of for my “big words” and my “odd” writing. One of my friends came over for a sleepover one night and I stashed my latest scribblings quickly behind a photo frame on the shelf when she walked in. Her latest craze was Joe from New Kids on the Block (yes, I loved them too – don’t hate me), but I had other things to think about. She finally convinced me to let her read my writing and I will never forget the “what the heck is wrong with you?” look. I don’t say this to garner pity. Quite the opposite, I wish I had more highly valued the way God made me back in those days and seen that exuberance and perceptiveness as the gifts that they are. 

As to the purpose for today’s post, it is so important that we are able to be in tune with our inner wisdom. That quiet place in the center of our being where we find the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. Jesus told us in Mark 10:15NRSV, that “whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” It is that childlike center within that is creative and it is the place where we can find peace and solutions, not because of ourselves but because of the Holy Spirit and His gifts within us. When I ignore this inner wisdom, let’s call it a gut feeling, I usually make a bad decision or believe what others say when maybe they don’t have all the facts.

We are becoming increasingly numb to this inner voice in our culture of constant busyness, noise and social media, a culture that is trying more and more to convince us that what is good is evil and what is evil is good. We lose contact with our inner self and the Holy Spirit and begin to wonder why we feel so anxious. It is more important than ever that we stay in step with the Holy Spirit and our core needs and desires.

So, where do we begin to fix that dissonance? There are a couple of things that stand out to me. The first is to stay plugged into daily Scripture reading and prayer, even if you can only hang in there for a few minutes. Not just prayers of supplication or thanksgiving, but to take a little time in silence with Jesus. This is where we can begin to experience our deepest emotions and needs beyond words and that still small voice of our Lord. We can’t expect our soul to remain nourished if we feed it a steady diet of junk food and don’t take time for the real deal.

The next idea takes a little more explanation. Back during Advent I found a great devotional called Advent Gospel Reflections by Bishop Robert Barron. In the reflection for December 24, he was contrasting the difference between Mary and Eve. As he pointed out, Eve “grasped” for what she saw as able to meet her needs and desires. Mary was content to “receive”. It is this attitude of receptiveness that seems to most characterize Mary in most of the reading I have done over the years. While this seems like an obvious concept, I’d like to delve into this a little more deeply with a small exercise I have learned over time by assembling little pieces from here and there.

I have observed in my quiet times that my actions align very closely to whether I am grasping or receiving in each moment and to go a step further, whether I am in fact shutting down and blocking out the good in life. I think of an attitude of receptiveness as being in that still, quiet center within. I can feel my core emotions – sadness, anger, fear, happiness. From that place, I can connect with my needs and desires and bring them to God in prayer. I can care enough about myself to see that the need is listened to and met.

If I am grasping, I feel like I am moving “out” of myself toward someone or something. This shows itself in people-pleasing in order to keep a relationship going, trying to change another person’s perception or opinion of something to match mine, trying to control external events, etc. If I am outside of myself, I have lost touch with my core needs and left them to the wolves. It is no wonder I have trouble connecting with another in that moment and I can feel depleted after awhile of staying in this state because I don’t know what I need anymore or I can feel frustrated if someone else is not meeting that need when in fact, it is something that God can do or help me to handle. This can also take the form of cravings for anything I think will fill that hole, because I have lost touch with the Holy Spirit and my true needs.

If I am withdrawing, I am moving deep “within” behind a wall. I almost feel behind myself if that makes sense, but I’m not in touch with that center, with the Holy Spirit, which would be much more neutral. In daily life, this will take the form of defense mechanisms meant to keep others out and protect my heart. This can look like avoidance, looking to blame someone or something for the discomfort, trying to figure it all out (i.e. brooding), etc.

In that center place within, I may feel strong emotions, but I am able to name them and connect with them, offer them to God and wait to see how He will respond. I am able to respond, rather than react. I have been slowly developing this ability for a few years through a lot of prayer and internal observation, confirmed by a lot of good psychology and spiritual reads, but it began to take a form I could share over the course of this spring. I found myself in what felt like an impossible situation and I had no idea what to do next or how to fix it. I was literally boxed in and unable to do anything but sit and wait. I decided to listen and give it to God in an experiment of sorts, just simply expressing my needs and desires to Him and trusting His will to be best, abandoning the whole sitation to His care without trying to manage the situation in any way. I just stopped in my tracks for awhile. The results were nothing short of amazing. God showed up as the loving Father I know He is, but I was surprised at the tender sweetness of His responses. The way He provided even the exact words I needed to hear, or a surprise answer. Nothing happened exactly the way I expected, but it was even easier to see His hand because of the very personal ways He met my needs and even my desires. He showed me that nothing is too small to escape His notice or care. Now, I realize there are times we are called to action, too. Yet, I find that it is always easier to know how to respond quickly when needed if I am regularly taking time to quiet myself and "receive" from Jesus.

It is also interesting to me how easy it is to connect with other from this place, particularly if I remember to pay attention to that inner wisdom regarding others. In those moments, I can put aside their sometimes confusing behavior and see what is really within. It is easy to get thrown by exteriors and forget to separate it from what has been showing itself all along in a million tiny little ways if you’re paying attention. 

I think this process becomes much more automaticwith time and may already be for many who learned these skills a little earlier in life. But for those who have trouble connecting with their inner needs and emotions, it can be very helpful. Yes, the Holy Spirit is always our guide. We are given the gift of Scripture and Church authority as well to help us in discernment. But we are also given the gift of our emotions and I believe it is also good to develop our understanding of them, to learn from them with Jesus by our side.

It takes great courage to live from this place though. To truly believe in God’s goodness even if things look really bleak. To put aside what the world is dangling in front of us and just listen to our true inner needs and stay present to them, really feeling them, rather than expect someone else to do something about it. To live in an attitude of receptiveness rather than trying to control everything and trust that God will really come through. I believe this is what Jesus meant when He talked about accepting God as a little child. A child is dependent on their parent for everything. A child can be that exuberant, inquisitive person because he is not worried about tomorrow. He is not caught up in all the cares of the world such as image, money, pleasing others, etc. He simply lives in the moment and knows that all good things come from above.

There are many good resources out there for growing this inner awareness. You might find books to be helpful, a close spiritual friend, counselor or a spiritual director, or even just old-fashioned journaling.

Photograph by Kalen Emsley, courtesy of StockSnap