Mothers Group Reflection #39: Taking the Bite Out of Temptation

We have finally reached the final week of Advent, where hopefully all of our preparations are beginning to bear fruit. The decorations are most likely hung, and our hearts are ready to worship Jesus in the Christmas liturgy. This last week, though, we are invited into the spirit of fasting, which leads us to a truer and deeper love of Christ and His Church. It is by fasting and mortifying those unruly appetites that our desires are brought more into line with His will.

I have heard a common theme lately in some of my conversations. It is a request for prayer to defeat various temptations or cravings in life, the things that we can be tempted to use in order to fill the holes of emptiness within our lives, rather than turning to God. With the holiday feasting, and family gatherings of many diverse personalities quickly upon us, it seems a good time to pause and take a good look at temptation. There are many ideas on how to defeat these temptations, but there are two that come to the surface in my own times of prayer lately.

First, I think it helps to adjust our thinking about the temptations in the first place. Sometimes they can cause a lot of fear or feel like they will overwhelm us in the moment, as if the only way to make them go away is to give in. Yet, temptations are not anything to be feared, as if they have some kind of power over us. It may feel that way in the moment, when our cravings are strong. Yet, the saints seem to see them differently. Temptations are truly an opportunity to grow in virtue and merit, storing up that treasure in heaven, and allowing ourselves to be made more whole right here and now. While we should not purposely put ourselves into situations we know will lead us to sin, we do not necessarily need to live in fear of temptations either, but to just deal well with them as they come. They are also an opportunity to show our love for Jesus, when we choose Him instead. And when I take this view in my own life, it’s like letting all the air out of balloon. When we can view temptations in this way, the enemy will soon tire of giving us reasons to give more glory to God.

Secondly, I don’t think it is enough to simply defeat a temptation, because it will likely return. Rather, we need to expose the root cause of it, or we are not very likely to defeat a sinful habit. Yes, we may make some progress, but then, it can all too often turn back into a regression of sorts, until we know the root cause. First of all, I invite you to give any temptations you are experiencing to God. Invite the Holy Spirit into the situation and ask Him to reveal the root. Sometimes, we won’t even know where to begin.

I also find journaling helpful for this task. It is easier to see themes over time as I look back over what I have written over the course of a month or two. For example, we may feel mad or be stuck in the thought, “if only that person would change, I would be happy in this situation.” Yet, that is usually not within our power to accomplish, nor is it usually what is actually angering us. It is often our own desires that war within us that create our unhappiness. Sometimes our circumstances will need to change, but more often than not, something within us needs to change, and that is really all we can change anyway. That anger, for example, may only be a defensive and self-protective cover for sadness or fear lurking underneath.

I turn once again to the First Week principles of Ignatian discernment on this topic, in reference to the tempter.

Fourteenth Rule. Likewise, he behaves as a chief bent on conquering and robbing what he desires: for, as a captain and chief of the army, pitching his camp, and looking at the forces or defenses of a stronghold, attacks it on the weakest side, in like manner the enemy of human nature, roaming about, looks in turn at all our virtues, theological, cardinal and moral; and where he finds us weakest and most in need for our eternal salvation, there he attacks us and aims at taking us.

Twelfth Rule. [ I ask you to take this one with a grain of salt in the way it is presented. While the content is very good, it was written 500 years ago and the role of men and women did not share equal value in society at that time. ] The enemy acts like a woman, in being weak against vigor and strong of will. Because, as it is the way of the woman when she is quarreling with some man to lose heart, taking flight when the man shows her much courage: and on the contrary, if the man, losing heart, begins to fly, the wrath, revenge, and ferocity of the woman is very great, and so without bounds; in the same manner, it is the way of the enemy to weaken and lose heart, his temptations taking flight, when the person who is exercising himself in spiritual things opposes a bold front against the temptations of the enemy, doing diametrically the opposite. And on the contrary, if the person who is exercising himself commences to have fear and lose heart in suffering the temptations, there is no beast so wild on the face of the earth as the enemy of human nature in following out his damnable intention with so great malice.

Or, more simply said, in James 4:7, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee.”

When we experience temptations, they are a great opportunity to take note of our areas of weakness and to begin to build up those areas through Scripture, prayer and reception of the sacraments. We may even need to find some good resources, books, spiritual direction, an accountability partner, etc. in order to conquer this particular area and to bring it out into the light where it can be fully seen and healed. We are also encouraged by St. Ignatius to never lose heart in the battle. As long as we stand strong on the promises of God and in the grace given by the Holy Spirit, we can defeat our enemy, but if we begin to lose heart, we are in great danger of being overtaken and falling into sin.

I pose a question in closing. Sin always promises some good, some sweetness or solution, yet it ends in the death of something. But I invite you to imagine for a minute...what would your life be like if you’d always followed God’s will? I don’t say this to bring frustration or sadness at all the ways you may have done things wrong. We have all sinned. Every one of us. But I say this to invite you to imagine what life could be like when lived entirely for God’s glory and within His will. If we can’t imagine something, we are not very likely to work toward the end result. We won’t have a goal in mind to spur us on in tough times. But, what would life look like if we were so in love with God that we only wanted His will in all things? What peace would we find? I wonder how many times we limit the abundant creativity and imagination of God when we think things can only go one of a limited number of ways. It can be hard to imagine the limitless number of ways He can and does surprise us on a daily basis when we turn our will over to Him and trust that He really will come through for us. God is forever surprising me in this way.

I invite you to ponder the wonder of Christmas this week, and the great love and imagination of a Creator that is forever finding new ways to reach out to each one of us and show us His love. I wish you a very blessed Christmas! Peace be with you.

Verse for the week:

“Those conflicts and disputes among you, where do they come from? Do they not come from your cravings that are at war within you? You want something and do not have it; so you commit murder. And you covet something and cannot obtain it; so you engage in disputes and conflicts. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures...Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into dejection. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

- James 4:1-3, 7-10 NRSVCE