Mothers Group Reflection #35: The Epidemic of False Humility
I have a small bone
to pick today. I see an epidemic of false humility infecting the
Christian community at large. Maybe I am wrong. I would love to be
shown otherwise. I was trying to share one of my spiritual gifts with
someone recently and actually felt I needed to apologize for even
having it. And I can’t tell you how many times I have stopped and
shied away from exposing or fully using one of my gifts because of
the environment around me, because the people around me expected that
no one could possibly be graced with any great gift like that of the
saints, so we should instead settle for mediocre Christianity and
look at our shoes. In a society of participation ribbons, we
“wouldn’t want anyone else to feel bad or left out.” And yet,
we are ALL gifted in one way or another. And the saints? They were
just the ones that were put through that long process of
canonization. There are countless great saints in history that we
will never know about until we are home with our Father in heaven,
people just like you and me.
I noticed something
recently in Scripture. The main characters, beginning with Jesus,
weren’t afraid to be who God made them to be. They didn’t put
themselves on a parade float, but they didn’t shy away from doing
what they were called to do either. I noticed that Jesus wanted to
perform miracles in His hometown, but He couldn’t because of the
lack of faith around Him. “And he could do no deed of power there,
except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and cured them.
And he was amazed at their unbelief” (Mark 6:5-6 NRSVCE). It seems
everyone around Him thought Him too ordinary to exhibit such gifts of
healing. Why do we believe that God could only give great gifts to
someone else? Someone far away, someone holier, someone….different?
And aren’t all gifts great, because they are gifts from God?
This is so common in
our day and age. We have an epidemic of ego running rampant in the
secular culture, yet, few seem to know how to practice genuine
humility and recognition of the gifts bestowed on each of us by God.
It seems as if we have gone to the other extreme, as Christians, to
try to overcompensate for the huge ego running loose around us. I
think at it’s core, the world has forgotten God, and as a result,
has forgotten its inherent and God-given dignity, and that’s what
everyone is looking for, but we have to speak up in order to point
the way back. We are looking for God and our dignity in Him. Only, we
miss it by choosing to stuff the hole with food, lust, too much
television, shopping, etc. OR...we humble brag.
November 1st
was All Saints Day, the day when we recognize and honor all the
spiritual giants of our faith, whose examples shine like beacons in a
dark night, beckoning us to follow in their footsteps, to “be who
God meant you to be” so that “you will set the world on fire”
(St. Catherine of Siena). Not in our own doing, as we are nothing in
and of ourselves, but by the grace and empowering of the Holy Spirit.
Truly, all good comes from God alone. The saints weren’t born
saints. They were people just like you and me. The difference is,
they lived lives of heroic virtue because they didn’t give up. They
just kept doing the next right thing and depended on God’s grace.
When they fell, they didn’t wallow in self-pity or hide behind
blaming someone else. They got back up and tried again and again and
again.
On the day of
Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples as tongues of
flame, filling the hearts of the faithful and causing them to speak
in languages completely unknown to them, so that they might proclaim
the glory of God to all the ends of the earth. We are told that we,
too, will be given spiritual gifts for the common good, gifts of
uttering wisdom and knowledge, faith, healing, working of miracles,
prophecy, discernment of spirits, the gifts of tongues and the
interpretations of tongues. (1 Corinthians 12:7-10).
We are also told in
the Psalms, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; that I know very well”(Psalm 139:14
NRSVCE). I think we are denying the great glory of God and the praise
due Him when we hide our gifts or trot them out in half-hearted ways
because we are afraid that acknowledging our gifts might draw
attention to ourselves or make us look arrogant or that we might fail
somehow in using them. We can have the tendency to shy away from
compliments and deflect, yet shouldn’t receiving those compliments
bless the giver as well as the Giver of all good gifts? What if
someone actually said, “Thank you! Yes, look at the gift God has
given me and what it can do through His grace!” Does that not
praise the power of God that gave it to us in the first place? And
before you think I’m speaking heresy, look to the example or our
spiritual mother, Mary.
“Elizabeth was
filled with the Holy Spirt and exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed
are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And why
has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? For
as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the child in my womb
leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a
fulfillment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.’
And Mary said,
‘My soul
magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit
rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked
with favor on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely, from now
on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty
One has done great things for me,
and holy is his
name.’” - Luke 1:41b-49 NRSVCE
There is nothing in
her words to suggest any trace of self-focus, but instead, a great
recognition of what God has done for and through her. Can you imagine
if someone in our day and age said, “Surely from now on all
generations will call me blessed?” They’d most likely be looked
at as the kind of person who toots their own horn.
Sometimes, I think
we just need a quick refresher on the true meaning of humility, or we
go one of two ways with it. We can either look at our shoes and hide
our light under a bushel so that we don’t stand out in any way or
look “prideful” if we were to just thank someone for a
compliment. Or worse, we make self-deprecating comments. Or, on the
other end of the spectrum, and probably because we held in the truth
of the matter too long, we can fall into outward pride by getting
annoyed others don’t do things the way we would do them, using our
words to look down at others or correct, out of wrong motives, rather
than just say, “I have a great idea to solve this problem. Would
you be interested in hearing it?” Either way is actually a form of
pride, whether subtle or overt, it is a focus on self and others’
opinions rather than focus on God. And I point a finger first and
foremost at myself. Either one is a very easy trap to fall into at
times, especially in our current social climate.
True humility is to
live in the truth! To allow that truth to be seen and to walk with
confidence. Not in any way to show off, but so that we can truly put
our gifts to use. If we have a gift, it should be used for the
benefit of all, with great joy and purpose. I think we know this, we
just don’t want to be the first one to do it. I think of St.
Therese today, she who desired more than anything to be not only a
saint, but a GREAT saint! She even desired to be a doctor of the
church (which she later became). She recognized that she would not be
able to have this desire were it not for the great God who put it
within her and that He would be the one to bring it to fruition, with
her cooperation, if it was in His will. She had so many desires she
couldn’t possibly do them all in one lifetime until she found the
one thing that encompassed them all...love. And that is what she did.
She loved in the heart of the church for all those on the front
lines, all those doing the very things she herself desired, but was
unable to do. She realized that without love to empower them, no one
would do these great things anymore. Preachers would stop preaching.
Martyrs would no longer shed their blood. She loved and she prayed
and sat at the feet of God, praising Him day and night (Story of a
Soul, Chapter XI).
We are all called to
be saints, whether we are ever canonized or not, but do you believe
this is possible in your own life? Is it something that you teach
your children to strive for? To give their all in the love of God? Do
you believe that God can do anything through a humble, willing heart,
or do you limit Him out of fear? Maybe that will be simple things
like folding socks day after day, but with an uncommon love and care
for the wearer of those socks. Maybe it will be something “great”
in the eyes of the world. Either way, I believe we bring great honor
to God when we seek to discover our gifts and put them into use, and
when we see ourselves, as His creation, with truth and true humility,
offering daily gratitude for all He has given us, while doing each
act, whether large or small, with great love.
Questions for
further reflection:
What are some of
your spiritual gifts? Are you currently using them? If not, what is
holding you back from doing so? I invite you to spend some time in
prayer this week and to allow yourself to think on your biggest
dreams, your biggest desires within. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal
these things to you and how they can be used in some way in the weeks
to come.
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