Mothers Group Reflection #31: Hello, My Name is Kim and I Have a Problem...

I remember with great clarity the moment I realized that there is an actual limit to the number of books I will be able to read within my lifetime. Anyone who knows my insanely deep love of books will realize just how jarring this realization was for me. For a brief moment, I think I even felt a twinge of panic.

Hello, my name is Kim. I am a book addict.

That was an interesting day in my life. To realize I was most likely reaching the halfway point and there is a limit to what I can do and achieve. As one confessor once put it, “the second half of life is about learning to let go.” Whether I’ve actually reached that halfway point or not is up for debate, but limits are real and now I’m left wondering how best to use the time I have left in life. This is exactly why I love St. Ignatius of Loyola so much. He is infinitely practical when it comes to questions such as these. How do I know what is the best use of my time in any given situation?

As a short conclusion to my focus on St. Ignatius, I’d like to introduce you to the First Principle and Foundation of Ignatian Discernment. It goes as follows:

“Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created.

From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them as far as they hinder him as to it.

For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty, honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created.”

What I take from this is as follows:

1. The first order of business is to determine our life direction. Are we for or against God? Are we truly living in accordance with our desire to serve and give our lives to Jesus? Do we know that God is our greatest good and that it was for the purpose of loving and serving Him that we were even created?

2. Once that is settled, how are we making use of all that He brings us, whether opportunities, goods, relationships, etc? Are these things separating us from Him or aiding us in our journey toward Him? Even good things can sometimes pull us away from the best things, the things that God has in mind for each of us in particular.

3. Are we too attached to anything in this life, even our own desires, in a way that divides us from God? Do we truly want God’s will in all things or do we cling to our own will? The two do not have to be mutually exclusive if we are truly abiding in Christ. The goal is for our will to align with His, to truly want what He wants. He plants desires within our hearts, but we also know our hearts can sometimes lead us astray. Indifference does not mean that we don’t care deeply about people or things, but that our desires are rightly ordered for our good and that of others.

So, how about you? What people, things, or opportunities in life draw you closer to the love of God? Where do you feel depleted and in need of a little pruning?