Meeting 'Those' People in Heaven

I recently found myself in a conversation about heaven. Not the typical, “what would it be like” kind of conversation. This was an issue I have thought on before at length and the other person just really spoke my heart at that moment. The thought was something like this: how will it feel in heaven when we meet those people, the ones who have hurt us the most or that we struggle to love? At first, the answers were a little tongue in cheek. “Well, I guess it’ll be big enough for the two of us,” or “maybe we won’t actually run into them!”

I admit this very question has been on my mind for awhile though. Sometimes I find myself in relationship with others that I just never seem able to get along with no matter how hard I try. Everything I say and do seems to be the wrong thing at the wrong time and I can feel completely dejected and deeply pained at times. In the worst moments, I can have the tendency to either use snappy words to protect what is left of my fragile ego or to just shut down for awhile to regroup. Other times, something needed to be said, but I worry about the response. Ever been there?

More and more, I find myself longing for heaven for this very reason. Our relationship with God has been broken ever since the fall of humans into sin and rebellion. We hide ourselves from God and others out of shame of exposure and possibly being asked to do more than we’d like or self-protection against use by others. We have to erect some boundaries with others to protect our time and our limited capacities, emotionally, physically and spiritually. We do this because sin and death have entered the world. The fullness of God’s presence in our lives has been broken and we so easily look to things or people in creation to find that missing piece within ourselves that only God can fill.

In heaven, this will not be so. We will find that completion in our hearts that we so deeply long for on earth. God’s presence will fill all of those empty places and needs in a way not completely possible in our current fallen state. He will fully heal our shame and all the aspects of ourselves we tend to hide out of insecurity. With that fullness, our egos will not get in the way of relating to one another. We will not fear that others might try to use us or ask too much or that we might do the same. We will not need to erect boundaries to protect our limited selves or to protect us from possible sin (either our own or that of others).

I know this sounds silly in light of such a serious topic, but it is the little things that I think about most. I admit, I am the world’s most awkward hugger and I am a big lover of personal space. That said, I love hugs, but I will almost never be the one to initiate them. Why? A lot of times, it is lack of certainty of where I stand with others and it safer to shake your hand. I’m pretty sure one of the first things I am going to do in heaven is to bear hug every person I meet! Right after I look them in the eye and tell them I love them more than they could possibly know (the difficult ones in particular here). I long for that freedom and joy to be made complete, when all wrongs are put right and we can truly see things as they are. Mostly, I want to be able to look at those people and fully appreciate who they are and see all the goodness that God gave them without that sneaky ego creeping in to mess it all up.

For now, I am trying to make peace with my humanity and that of others. I am asking God for the grace to love others with His love, to let me be an instrument of His grace and mercy, and maybe taking a much needed walk in my weaker moments while dreaming of that day when every tear will be wiped away.

Photograph by Helena Lopez, courtesy of StockSnap