Of the Royal Meadows and the Chief of War

I have been working on the idea for this blog for some time now. During a time of spiritual direction and inner growth, it began as a private space where I could be myself without judgment or worries and I could work out my understanding of God, my purpose in life, and my relationships with others. It has evolved in many ways over time and it has been very difficult to choose a name. A couple of years ago, I remember struggling deeply in my faith life with the concept of God. I had a tendency to see Him as disinterested and distant, as someone I had to please in order to be loved. Many times, I also saw Him as always just slightly out of reach. Maybe it is a result of the wounds I carry, maybe some erroneous notion that found its way into my head as a child. Who knows. Either way, it was obvious that something needed to change.

One spring, I became intrigued by the meaning of names. God has shown us in Scripture that He numbers the hairs on our heads, He has given us a purpose and a name. He goes so far as to say, “See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:16 NRSV). That image really stayed with me for a long time. I would fall asleep picturing myself curled up in His hands and I remember wanting Him to show me right where I was inscribed on His palms.

When I looked for the meaning of my name I found that it means “of the royal meadow.” That very week, our parish priest was talking about Jesus as shepherd in our lives. He protects us, He guides us, He leads us to safe pasture. And my name means “of the royal meadow.” I don't think this was by chance. I felt very strongly that God was trying to remind me that I belong to Him and that was always His plan, right from the very start. I am one of His sheep, safe in His meadow and though enemies may prowl all around me, I am safe in the Shepherd's care.

The daily challenge is to stay there. I once heard that the only way the enemy can bite us is if we walk into his space. He is essentially a chained dog who can do nothing more than bark, unless I wander into his territory either through carelessness or by choice. I can tell you from experience, I have spent way too much time in life trying to stay out of his territory on my own will power and failing a lot. The interesting thing is that the shortened version of my name, and ironically, the one I usually go by, means “chief of war” according the the Welsh. I don't think this is an accident either because I've noticed a trend in my life.

When I remember my identity in Jesus and that He is watching over everything that occurs in my life and I trust in that love and care, I remain in His meadow, safe from all harm and I remain at peace. He is the one doing the heavy lifting and everything is easier because I do it out of love and not duty. It is when I begin to think it all depends on me, when I stop trusting and forget who and Whose I am that I become impatient and restless and I begin to act more like that “chief of war.” I lose sight of the long view of things and begin to look for short cuts. I start spending too much time trying to figure everything out on my own and not enough time trusting in the One who already knows the answer.

So began the idea for my blog...a place where I can be reminded of and contemplate that identity in community with others. We are all made in His image. No two are exactly alike and we were all made with a purpose in mind, to love God and through that Love, to love others. We were made to be in community and to contribute to the overall good of the Body of Christ. God longs to draw each of us into the fullness of faith and into the depth of His love.

If you have time today, I would love to hear in the comments section the unique ways God has called you in life. More importantly, I hope you will take a moment today to spend in His presence, marveling at all He has done in and through you. Mostly, I hope you will just spend a moment basking in His love and tell Him that you love Him in return. Nothing could please Him more.

Photograph by Eberhard Grossgasteiger, courtesy of StockSnap